Imagine!

Sing the following to the tune of Imagine - John Lennon

Imagine there's no Heaven

It's easy if you High!
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Drinking all the day

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to pay or lie for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people

Drinking night and day!

You may say that I'm a drinker

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will be as drunk!

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Drinking across the world

You may say that I'm a drinker
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as drunk!

With all due respect to John Lennon.

Rising Prices and Ages

Recently the Maharashtra government increased the drinking age for beer and hard drinks from 18 and 21 to 21 and 25 respectively. Wait a minute... So basically the activity that I’ve been doing for the past four years (legally) is illegal now?! Apart from that the government has also banned serving alcohol at all public functions and ceremonies.

"One of the major areas of concern is to control the consumption of illegal liquor which kills people. If sale of illegal liquor is found anywhere, the police and excise chief would be held responsible," Prithiviraj Chavan, Maharashtra’s Chief Minister, warned. As if the youngsters solely contributed towards that consumption, if at all! But still, why not provide us with stats. How about the number of deaths caused by alcohol poisoning and how many of them were actually below 25? Well Mr. Chief Minister, if you really want to control the consumption of illegal liquor in your state you must ask the cops to be more active. Maybe you should increase the eligibility age of cops to 25 so that we have more mature and less corrupt cops who also do some policing work?

These measures come ahead of the passage of the state policy on de-addiction, which is being pursued by Shivajirao Moghe, Minister for Social Justice & De-addiction Activities (Can’t believe our tax money actually funds a department like this!). Since when did weekly / occasional drinking become an addiction?? This is India for god’s sake! You don’t want your kid to drink put him under a leash, perhaps whack him once or twice. Why take away the freedom of others Mr. Shivajirao? 

Obviously the ‘youngsters’ aren’t going to stop drinking; per capita consumption of alcohol world over is on the rise (If Maharashtra state excise decides to update their data of 2007-08, I could pull out some current figures).What’s worse is that these senseless rules will only act as a haven for corrupt practices. More illegal outlets which sell alcohol will mushroom in the city. More ‘Aunties’ and ‘Uncles’ will come up from whom one can procure alcohol without any difficulties at any given time.( These would probably be sold at higher rates taking into consideration the cop’s ‘cut’). As usual, once the cops come sniffing around and find underage drinking they’ll use the age old trick ‘chalo thane’ to extort money. There goes all the effort of Babaji and Hazareji! Basically we are on our path to what happened in the States over 90 years back. Prohibition Era. And once a complete ‘de-addiction’ takes place you know what’s coming next, more Al-capones, "Big Bill" Dwyer, Dawoods, Shakeels, etc. Well obviously our ministers would be equally involved in it, no wonder they’re already working on it!! We might not have Saint Valentine's Day massacre thanks to MNS and Shiv Sena, not! 

Point being that if you think you want to do the public some good, there are other ways to it. I like the idea of Mr. Chavan that they’ll spread awareness about the ill-effects of consumption via awareness camps, drives, seminars, literature etc. Do that. But let people be a judge of what they want. Where is the much talked about freedom? Why are we enforcing our views on others? Why are we turning Talibanic?

Dig into this:

In Europe, people in all countries are allowed to drink alcoholic beverages from childhood within their home (in Albania, for example, there is no age limit). Some Islamic nations prohibit Muslims, (read Pakistan), or both Muslims and non-Muslims, from drinking alcohol at any age.

Germany - 16 for wine, beer, and cider; 18 for spirits and spirit-based beverages (e.g., alcopops); 14 when with parents.

Turkey -16 (restaurants and with meal), 18 (otherwise).       

 Overall most country’s restrictions range between the age of 16-21, if at all. – Wikipedia.

Most of the countries who allow citizens the freedom to drink from the age of 16-18 don't really have wasted youths. On the contrary most of those countries are socially and economically more developed and matured than us! I don't say that alcohol consumption put those countries where they are, but I do say that curbing alcohol consumption will not get us there either! Youngsters are bound to try alcohol at ages ranging from 14-18 irrespective of what rules we make. Even if you push the age limit to 30, kids will try out alcohol at an average age of 17-18! So why not keep it to that itself? Why 25?

25 is by far the highest drinking age around the world, higher by 4 years than any other country’s age limit, (Delhi being the only other place to implement such restrictions!). It could’ve happen only in India (That too because other countries with Muslim majority have simply banned it). I think the only sensible changes in the existing law would be that no liquor shop will be allowed within a kilometer of educational and social institutions, government offices, religious places and highways. It is good that they’ve banned serving alcohol in public gatherings and celebrations till the time they don’t mean gatherings like parties, marriages or any other private function. I believe a smarter law would be about implementing strict actions against those who under influence of alcohol create nuisance, harm others, driving under influence, etc.

I wish to finish the stock that I had piled up before the rates went up and rules got changed, hope that’s still legal! But seriously I think it's time to revert back to how things were. Thank You!

PS: Wait, is there a department for wizard and witchcraft as well? Or perhaps Department for constipated and gastro? They'll ban spicy food and coffee!

I don’t want fun... I want you!

Ok, this one’s been long pending to be published. It was back when my girl and I completed five months together. We went to celebrate it (I know it is lame, but there isn’t much one can do when in a ‘relationship’) at Sammy Sosa, Oshiwara. I am personally a big fan of Mexican food, and it was my turn to pick a place to hangout.

The place is two storied, ground floor and the first floor. It’s bright, yet soothingly and very tastefully lit. Enter and immediately on the right you are greeted with this amazing wide variety of the choicest of beer I’ve seen in Bombay so far. They also sport a nice LCD for the sports fan. Their staff is perhaps more cultured than those of a 3 star hotel! We chose to sit upstairs after a little while of waiting. The air conditioning, however, is poor. Either you are sitting right under the blowers or in a complete vacuum. 

The first floor is a little claustrophobic, and the access to the loo is a quite inconvenient altough! The loo was done up pretty well though, looked like something out of an exotic Latin American movie. We Ignored all that and went ahead and called for the menu. Trust me, their beer menu is as elaborate as it gets. Mind you it is freakishly expensive, but yet worth it all! The variety of beer offered here ranges from strong Bavarian beers of alcohol strengths 10% + v/v to Japanese beer Asahi! Each page is dedicated to a single beer with its description.

Now, I’ am always on the lookout for something new. So I ordered the Japanese beer Asahi. She, on the other hand, had never tried Corona (Sometimes I wonder how we managed to get along?!). The host however was wonderful enough to take out time and explain us the kinds of beer they have. True passion right there! So she changed her mind and settled for some other beer.

I ordered burritos (was in Canada for a while, and I simply loved the burritos I had there). She wasn’t really hungry but instead she wanted to taste Asahi, which I obliged her with. Next thing you know she wanted more. Am like, sorry lady, get one for yourself! We then shifted to the regular beer (feeling guilty of having spent more than we planned to). And again she finished her beer quickly and was eyeing my beer! Being who I am, I safeguarded my glass, guarding it with both my hands now. Now what happened next Am not really proud of, but it was something like:

Girl: I was testing you and you failed, twice!
Boy: Of course! You competed against alcohol, what were you even thinking?!

My advice: Never use the above mentioned lines to your girl. The next thing you know she’s taunting you for wanting to have fun all the time and stuff. My next advice, never use the following either: But babes, I don’t want fun... I want you! Only I know how my evening went from there on!

Finally after a few awkward moments comes my burrito! I hate to say this as much as Sammy Sosa was hyped for its Mexican food it was truly not what I wanted. Expectations were soaring above deliverance. First thing first, burrito should be wrapped in a foil or a paper, makes eating it easier, unless the tortilla completely wraps the filling.  Though I expected my burrito dry, it was... well not the wet burrito, but soggy. Even the filling wasn’t worth it at all.

Overall experience was good that night. Just the food part was disappointing (I am still dating that wonderful woman!).

Five on Five (5/5) Part II

And we are back! What a night that was but more on that later! Without much ado I shall continue the story from when we left Leo’s. So far we’ve been to Alps and Leo’s. Out of Leo’s and into Mondegar!

Cafe Mondegar is livelier than Leo’s. It’s got a diner kind of a feel to it, with a coin operated jukebox at the end of the room. The music only added to the drinking experience I say! Most of the places usually have no music, or way too loud for you to enjoy your drinks with nice company, but Mondegar has it right! We were joined by a friend at this point, and we had a large and a regular pitcher here. Unlike Leo’s, Mondegar has nothing complimentary. It was about 10 in the night when we left from Mondegar and I had to ask my cousin if he wished to go home (since he had an early morning flight to catch) or ‘HOME’ home (if he wished to continue with the bar hopping). My cousin very wisely chose ‘HOME’ home.

We then turned around the block and headed to the next bar on our checklist, Gokul. Now I had heard a lot about this bar, my girlfriend has been dying to visit the place. Having been to many bars in Bombay I wasn’t very comfortable with the idea of her visiting a bar. This however changed the moment we entered Gokul. It’s like a typical, regular, shady bar in Bombay like Krishna Chaya, Janta, Raj Palace, etc. The crowd however was decent enough for the girlies to come visit by themselves. This place is quite known for its food, we ordered 2 butter chickens and 8 rumali rotis for the four of us! To my surprise, Gokul also serves pitchers! The food was, to be very honest, overhyped. It was nothing special as compared to any other bar in Bombay. But it is indeed a decent place for one to bring girls along to (family place? That would be pushing it!). 

We were all pleased at this point. Never before had we completed the full circle of drinking on that block before! We somehow always missed out Gokul before that night! We all, however, were not in the mood to call it a day. So we decided to hit on last bar, Woodside Inn, a friend suggested. We hit the place, and oh boy! What a fantastic place! Tucked away in the architecture of old Bombay, this little place is a smooth blend of the old architecture and modern life. Pleasantly lit up, they retain and flaunt the wrought iron support beams! A lot of wood work has been done, and very tastefully indeed! A bunch of black and white photographs donning the wall remind of the bygone era. A close look on one of the photos however will reveal a Toyota Corolla!  The service was quite prompt and the beer refreshing! I think it's become one of my favorites in town!

Finally at some point after midnight we hopped into a cab and headed back home: a drive through the marine drive, a quick halt at Malabar hill and finally the sea link. I think with that we pretty much covered quite a lot of Bombay a teenager would like to see!

And again we depart only to meet again soon! Drunk Guru out, take care and drink responsibly!

Cheers!

Five on Five (5/5) Part I

Last Sunday my cousin from Delhi arrived in Bombay for an interview. Now I must confess even though we are cousins we’ve hardly met each other before. The only memory I have of us as kids was of the time we played cricket in his garden almost 10 years back from now (which he doesn’t quite remember!). We both were quite sceptical about being asked to hang out together by our parents. He very reluctantly asked me if I watched football, almost expecting a negative. To his relief I affirmed and asked him if he drank. That’s it! Now we both were comfortable as if we knew each other very well since our childhood! It is true indeed; Sports and Booze unite the world to make it a better place to live in!

An avid supporter of Man U (intended) that he is, he was very disappointed when Liverpool beat them 3-1!  Also, next morning was the interview, so we laid low and took it easy in the evening. This was the first time my cousin was visiting Bombay and as a host I had to take him around. I wanted to make sure that he had a good time and saw as much of Bombay as possible. I roped in a few of my friends on Monday after his interview and we all headed downtown Bombay. We took him on the legendary local trains of Bombay, a cab ride through the city showing the Rolls-Royce showroom, Haji Ali, The Antila for some reason, Chowpaty, the Marine Drive etc. 

My friends and I have often had these trips downtown on Sunday mornings, where we start off with breakfast at Cafe Mondegar along with a pitcher of beer, followed by pitcher at Leopold’s, then more pitchers at Alps along with pork sausages and chicken cheese burgers! These usually lasted from 10 in the morning till about 6 in the evening. Time was against us that night! So we started the evening with a visit to Alps, which unfortunately was out of tap that night. So we settled for a pint each and pork sausages with chips and chicken cheese burger. Alps has a simple yet soothing appeal to it. It looks something like a bistro, small, old fashioned and a little slow in service. We wrapped up Alps in an hour and headed off to Leopold’s. 

Now Leopold’s not only has a special place in our hearts cause of our Sunday afternoons but also because it represents the ‘spirit’ of Bombay! Despite being a Monday evening we had to wait for a while to be seated. As soon as we were given a spot, we ordered the ‘Tower’. Leopold’s has this amazing beer dispensing towers, so I asked my cousin to fill up his glass for him to get the feel of the tap! We also ordered barbeque chicken, the quantity of which was more than sufficient for the three of us not to mention it was quite reasonably priced as well. Leopold’s has this vintage feel to it, for it is over 100 years old and seems to be stuck in a time warp with time travellers from the future joining in for a drink or two. They still retain the scars of the terrorist attacks, perhaps the only thing that changed in Leopold’s since its establishment. Between Alps and Leo’s, Leo’s is more vibrant. We next moved to Cafe Mondegar.

Hash! It’s time for me to retire for the night; but I’ll be back with the remaining story soon! Time to hit another bar with friends and cherish some moments! That being said, take care and drink responsibly. 

Cheers!